Someone once said when they looked at my weekly Google calendar (all color-coded, mind you), “That’s your weekly schedule!?!?!!”
“Why, yes, yes it is” (spoken in my cheerleader stance like I’m some sort of superhero) insert my famous eye-roll
I don’t know about you, but I’ve taken pride in the past in my ability to multi-task and do all of these things and have a ton of irons in the fire. And then it was made easier by having all of those appointments in my little hand by way of a smartphone with reminders and alerts that kept me on task.
I was being productive. I was getting things done.
But was I really??
In mid-2019, I had a breakdown and didn’t want to do anything...I mean nothing!! And then I felt guilty because I didn’t want to do anything and then depressed because I felt guilty… and on, and on, and on.
The good news was that my hormones were all out of whack so at least there was an explanation of why I felt so crazed!
The bad news is I still had all these things that I was supposed to be doing and I was still supposed to be productive and so on and so on. I have responsibilities. I’ve made commitments – yadda, yadda, yadda
My Doc suggested a Sabbatical…
You mean like Liz Gilbert’s Eat. Pray. Love?!
YUP… Sign me up!
But I couldn’t really do that. I was in no place to do that. No one was going to pay me for that and I sho nuff couldn’t afford it.
So he suggested different things like a work sabbatical or a sabbatical from activities – Empty your calendar.
Um… what??
My head was spinning with all the ways to make that happen. What would I have to give up? Did that mean quit things? Let people down? The horror!!!
But I actually knew he was right. I couldn’t keep going like this.
So...Fast-forward to 2020…
Pandemic
COVID
Isolation
No social gatherings
An empty calendar
Trust me when I say, that I never imagined or wished for a break because of a global frickin’ pandemic. But when I was struggling to find some positive in all of this and a way to move forward, I realized how much I was OK with my empty calendar. And felt some relief and joy at NOT having to do all the things.
Now, don’t get me wrong…
I have missed my choir and my church and my dance classes and ALL of the groups and things and gatherings AND PEOPLE that have been part of my life. We all have.
But I’ve done things during this time and had some fun exploring that I wouldn’t have had OR taken the opportunity to do before
One of those is a Sunday morning drive - or any drive for that matter. I live in midtown Atlanta - tall buildings and lots of things to look at and TONS of traffic!!
But guess what… on an early Sunday morning – there is NO TRAFFIC!!
I mean – NONE!
And I love it! I drive around, look at all the buildings, and go on back roads where I wouldn’t normally explore and see a different side of the city that I wasn’t aware of.
There are gorgeous murals painted throughout the city and in the most obscure places.
(Click the photo above to follow this amazing artist - Brandon Bmike Odums)
There are areas that I didn’t even know existed – Neighborhoods that are just so charming and full of energy.
It’s an entirely different world in Atlanta at 7:30 am on a Sunday morning and I’m so happy that I have had the opportunity to experience that.
And taking this time to explore has brought me sooo much JOY – even with a semi-empty calendar.
What new things or areas have you explored lately??
Here’s to hoping you can find your own JOY in the Not doing!
Happy Exploring -
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